Anyone who has ever attended Simpson University holds a dear place in their heart for one particular theologian...Dietrich Bonhoeffer. This is in large part to the ever inspiring Dr.Craig Slane (author of "Bonhoeffer as Martyr:Social Responsibility and Modern Christian Commitment"). I think it's impossible to hear one of his lectures without some reference to Bonhoeffer. And who better to hear about Bonhoeffer from, then a professor who wrote a book about him and even lectures in German about this exemplary individual?
Sometimes when I'm in the mood for inspiration or simply for sharing inspiration...I look to Bonhoeffer for the cure. For those of you who do not know much about Dietrich Bonhoeffer, he was a Lutheran pastor and theologian who was involved in movements against Nazism and his participation in plans to assassinate Adolf Hitler lead to his arrest and execution by hanging in April 1945, just 23 days before the Nazis surrender.
I urge you to do some research on this particular individual. You will not be dissapointed. I leave you with some of my favorite quotes. Enjoy!
"The mark of solitude is silence, as speech is the mark of community. Silence and speech have the same inner correspondence and difference as do solitude and community. One does not exist without the other. Right speech comes out of silence, and right silence comes out of speech."
"If you do a good job for others, you heal yourself at the same time, because a dose of joy is a spiritual cure."
"First they came for the Communists, but I was not a Communist so I did not speak out. Then they came for the Socialists and the Trade Unionists, but I was neither, so I did not speak out. Then they came for the Jews, but I was not a Jew so I did not speak out. And when they came for me, there was no one left to speak out for me."
"When all is said and done, the life of faith is nothing if not an unending struggle of the spirit with every available weapon against the flesh."(The Cost of Discipleship)
"We are not to simply bandage the wounds of victims beneath the wheels of injustice, we are to drive a spoke into the wheel itself."
"If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction."
"In a word, live together in the forgiveness of your sins, for without it no human fellowship, least of all a marriage, can survive. Don’t insist on your rights, don’t blame each other, don’t judge or condemn each other, don’t find fault with each other, but accept each other as you are, and forgive each other every day from the bottom of your hearts…"
"God loves human beings. God loves the world. Not an ideal human, but human beings as they are; not an ideal world, but the real world. What we find repulsive in their opposition to God, what we shrink back from with pain and hostility, namely, real human beings, the real world, this is for God the ground of unfathomable love."
"Absolute seriousness is never without a dash of humor."
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
LMN
Want to waste your life? I have 3 words for you: Lifetime Movie Network. I blame my roommate for this, as I came home to her watching this god forsaken channel the other night. I'm not really sure what sucks me into these made for tv flicks? It's certainly not the acting. And it can't even be the writing, which is just awful. There must be some sort of force field that Lifetime creates...which sucks you in once you turn it on and you can't escape.
From watching only 3 Lifetime movies I have discovered 3 things: I wish I was Amish, I'm scared of being murdered on a river and I seriously question our judicial system. I have no clue why I allow myself to watch this filth. It's embarrassing. But, watch I must! It wouldn't be so bad if it were like the old days when Lifetime sporadically placed their movies in between talk shows and other estrogen filled programs. However, now there is a channel that is Lifetimes movies ALL day long, EVERY day!!! What is a gal to do? Wish me luck as I attempt to move past that despicable network the next time I channel surf.
From watching only 3 Lifetime movies I have discovered 3 things: I wish I was Amish, I'm scared of being murdered on a river and I seriously question our judicial system. I have no clue why I allow myself to watch this filth. It's embarrassing. But, watch I must! It wouldn't be so bad if it were like the old days when Lifetime sporadically placed their movies in between talk shows and other estrogen filled programs. However, now there is a channel that is Lifetimes movies ALL day long, EVERY day!!! What is a gal to do? Wish me luck as I attempt to move past that despicable network the next time I channel surf.
Friday, May 06, 2011
The Woman Who Walked Into Doors
I recently found this poem I had written a couple of years back which was inspired by the novel of the same title written by Roddy Doyle. This is not necessarily based on anything autobiographical. Just wanted to make that point clear. The novel was truly inspiring and left me no other choice, but to translate how I felt into a poem. Enjoy.
The Woman Who Walked Into Doors
Where did you get that black eye?
I walked into a door.
How did you break your leg?
I fell down the stairs.
How did you break two ribs?
Wouldn't you know...I slipped and fell in the kitchen.
And the cigarette burns on your arm?
You know me...just being careless.
How did you REALLY get the black eye?
I wouldn't make his coffee.
And your leg?
I didn't love him enough.
Your broken ribs?
I loved him too much.
The cigarette burns?
Just to put me in my place.
If I only could keep my mouth shut
If I could only be more of what he wanted
...if I could only escape.
Maybe when the blood dries, I can sink below the pain.
I don't even know who I am anymore.
Days and weeks blur together until they become months and years.
I am nothing without him, he reminds me of this as he picks me up off the floor.
And he is nothing without me...he does this because he loves me.
I avoid mirrors in the hallway...the blistered and bruised face reminds me...
I am the woman who walks into doors...nothing else.
The Woman Who Walked Into Doors
Where did you get that black eye?
I walked into a door.
How did you break your leg?
I fell down the stairs.
How did you break two ribs?
Wouldn't you know...I slipped and fell in the kitchen.
And the cigarette burns on your arm?
You know me...just being careless.
How did you REALLY get the black eye?
I wouldn't make his coffee.
And your leg?
I didn't love him enough.
Your broken ribs?
I loved him too much.
The cigarette burns?
Just to put me in my place.
If I only could keep my mouth shut
If I could only be more of what he wanted
...if I could only escape.
Maybe when the blood dries, I can sink below the pain.
I don't even know who I am anymore.
Days and weeks blur together until they become months and years.
I am nothing without him, he reminds me of this as he picks me up off the floor.
And he is nothing without me...he does this because he loves me.
I avoid mirrors in the hallway...the blistered and bruised face reminds me...
I am the woman who walks into doors...nothing else.
Monday, May 02, 2011
Nerd Alert!
There are few authors that can pen words so overwhelming that you have to digest their true meaning, as one might digest an elaborate Thanksgiving dinner. Breaking down each sentence and each thought, until they become your own contemplations. Breaking down each phrase into words that hold meaning. Words that tease. Words that please. Words that cause introspection. Words that make you nervous to even continue on.
There are only two authors which hold this status for me: Chuck Palahniuk and Roald Dahl. If anyone has read either of these authors, you will come to find that they are quite similar in nature. Although Dahl was a Brittish children's author best known for books such as "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" and "Matilda", while Palahniuk is known for dark, shameful humor such as "Fight Club" and "Haunted", both have a keen sense of making one question their own thoughts.
I've been reading both author's short stories collections, "The Roald Dahl Omnibus" and "Stranger than Fiction." In the very first short story written by Dahl, I had to check the front cover because it was so similar to the style and humor of so many Palhniuk's novels I have read in the past. I urge anyone who's interested in reading something with real depth to check out either novel. In fact, just read anything by either author...you will not be dissapointed. Although, do not read if you are faint of heart. I mean...Dahl starts his work with a gambler who convinces people to let him chop off their fingers if they lose a bet with him. And as for Pahlaniuk....I can't even mention his storylines without feeling the need to censor. Well, it's late and this has become rambling. Happy reading all!
There are only two authors which hold this status for me: Chuck Palahniuk and Roald Dahl. If anyone has read either of these authors, you will come to find that they are quite similar in nature. Although Dahl was a Brittish children's author best known for books such as "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" and "Matilda", while Palahniuk is known for dark, shameful humor such as "Fight Club" and "Haunted", both have a keen sense of making one question their own thoughts.
I've been reading both author's short stories collections, "The Roald Dahl Omnibus" and "Stranger than Fiction." In the very first short story written by Dahl, I had to check the front cover because it was so similar to the style and humor of so many Palhniuk's novels I have read in the past. I urge anyone who's interested in reading something with real depth to check out either novel. In fact, just read anything by either author...you will not be dissapointed. Although, do not read if you are faint of heart. I mean...Dahl starts his work with a gambler who convinces people to let him chop off their fingers if they lose a bet with him. And as for Pahlaniuk....I can't even mention his storylines without feeling the need to censor. Well, it's late and this has become rambling. Happy reading all!
Sunday, April 24, 2011
The Lost Art of Reading a Book.
Kindle. Nook. iPad. When did we become so lazy that it became too daunting of a task to even turn the page of a book? I can understand the convenience of having your whole library in the palm of your hands, but what's the fun in that? Nothing is quite as exciting as buying that book that you've been waiting with baited breath to finally be released, turning each crisp page and smelling that oh so heavenly new book aroma. As you get closer to the end of your novel, you must continuously talk yourself out of flipping to the final pages in order to discover the fate of the characters within your gripping tale. And finally...when all is said and done, placing your ear-marked, tear-stained and battered book on the shelf with all of your other literary conquests.
The thought of seeing the words of Shakespeare, Roald Dahl, William Blake or Mary Shelley digitally transferred to a screen feels almost offensive. It's possible that because I was an English major, I hold the utmost respect for the written word, but I also wince at the thought of having to turn on a screen in order to catch up on my current novel. And what if this new fangled machine happens to break, run out of batteries or lose your place while you're reading? Should your device go kaput while reading C.S. Lewis' "Perelandra", would one never know if Ransom accomplished his mission or even returned to Earth? How devastating for one to have to live in pure anticipation and panic, not knowing which way their novel would commence.
Needless to say, I'm more than happy to have heavy, numerous boxes filled to the brim with all of the books of my literary past, present and future. It may be a pain to lug around with every move I make, but I will forever choose to stand my ground in offense to the electronic book. I'll leave you with this quote from the great John Milton's "Areopagitica", he was blind so the electric book would hold no impression for him:
"For books are not absolutely dead things, but do contain a potency of life in them to be as active as that soul whose progeny they are; nay, they do preserve as in a vial the purest efficacy and extraction of that living intellect that bred them."
Happy reading all...in fact I think I'll go do some reading right now.
The thought of seeing the words of Shakespeare, Roald Dahl, William Blake or Mary Shelley digitally transferred to a screen feels almost offensive. It's possible that because I was an English major, I hold the utmost respect for the written word, but I also wince at the thought of having to turn on a screen in order to catch up on my current novel. And what if this new fangled machine happens to break, run out of batteries or lose your place while you're reading? Should your device go kaput while reading C.S. Lewis' "Perelandra", would one never know if Ransom accomplished his mission or even returned to Earth? How devastating for one to have to live in pure anticipation and panic, not knowing which way their novel would commence.
Needless to say, I'm more than happy to have heavy, numerous boxes filled to the brim with all of the books of my literary past, present and future. It may be a pain to lug around with every move I make, but I will forever choose to stand my ground in offense to the electronic book. I'll leave you with this quote from the great John Milton's "Areopagitica", he was blind so the electric book would hold no impression for him:
"For books are not absolutely dead things, but do contain a potency of life in them to be as active as that soul whose progeny they are; nay, they do preserve as in a vial the purest efficacy and extraction of that living intellect that bred them."
Happy reading all...in fact I think I'll go do some reading right now.
Monday, January 18, 2010
Life, Love and the Pursuit of Happiness...
There are times in every individual's life where the question is asked "who am I"?. If we are fortunate enough to take the time to dwell on this question and take serious time for introspection, we may be able to tap the surface of that deep rooted question. I guess at the beginning of a new year, one attempts to make goals and "resolutions" for themselves. Usually, we make grandiose goals that have already been forgotten and failed by the the beginning of February. My goal this year is to really learn more about me. Maybe that's selfish and even odd, but it is what it is.
In the past couple months I've really re-kindled my relationship with myself. Doing things that I truly love to do. Being around people that I love to be around. Listening to music that I enjoy and learn from. And really molding myself into a woman that I am very proud of. I have my quirks and I have my idiosyncrises that others may look at and find odd, but it's what I love the most about myself.
I've gone through so many changes and dealt with so much intensity in the past couple years, I think I'm finally finding out who I really am and where I go from here. I've decided that I have an old soul. There are so many things that I surprise myself with in being more traditional than I ever thought I would be. And at the same time, there are days when I look in the mirror and think "who is this hippie that has taken over my body and my brain?" I have such a deep passion and intense love for so many things. I'm hoping in this upcoming year to really explore more of those. My heart aches and breaks for Pit Bulls. I love them more and more everyday and with each new precious pittie that I meet. I urge any one who has ill feelings towards that breed, to look past what the media and ignorance has been force-feeding us about Pit Bulls for so many years. If you look in any Dog Encyclopedia or Breed book. You'll see that Pit Bulls are often referred to as "nanny dogs" because of how good they are with children and families. Not the viscous stereotype that so many people cling to huh? Know your facts before you pass judgement on any animal...or person for that matter.
With all of the world looking at Haiti right now, my heart absolute craves going back to Haiti. I think about it night and day. I think of the faces that I've seen, the hands that I've held and the lives that have touched me far more than I'm sure I touched them. I think of every child and wonder if they're safe? I wonder if they're family is safe? or how many of them have been orphaned? or whose parents are now without children? It almost scares me when I think of how much money is being raised right now for Haiti and wonder if the government will really even know what to do with it? Will the people of Haiti yet again, rise up against the government when it doesn't know how to appropriately disperse money and help? What truly is the best way to help Haiti right now in it's hour of crisis? And how unaware are most people seeing this tragedy, that Haiti is forever in a state of crisis? A country who dedicates itself to Satan every year, will surely come up short on it's share of blessings.
Well, that's just about enough of my ranting, raving and jambalaya of thoughts. I'm starting a Beth Moore Bible study tomorrow, which is a huge step for me personally and spiritually. I'm excited to get things back on track with the Big Guy! Life is good and I'm blessed. Things don't get too much better than that!
In the past couple months I've really re-kindled my relationship with myself. Doing things that I truly love to do. Being around people that I love to be around. Listening to music that I enjoy and learn from. And really molding myself into a woman that I am very proud of. I have my quirks and I have my idiosyncrises that others may look at and find odd, but it's what I love the most about myself.
I've gone through so many changes and dealt with so much intensity in the past couple years, I think I'm finally finding out who I really am and where I go from here. I've decided that I have an old soul. There are so many things that I surprise myself with in being more traditional than I ever thought I would be. And at the same time, there are days when I look in the mirror and think "who is this hippie that has taken over my body and my brain?" I have such a deep passion and intense love for so many things. I'm hoping in this upcoming year to really explore more of those. My heart aches and breaks for Pit Bulls. I love them more and more everyday and with each new precious pittie that I meet. I urge any one who has ill feelings towards that breed, to look past what the media and ignorance has been force-feeding us about Pit Bulls for so many years. If you look in any Dog Encyclopedia or Breed book. You'll see that Pit Bulls are often referred to as "nanny dogs" because of how good they are with children and families. Not the viscous stereotype that so many people cling to huh? Know your facts before you pass judgement on any animal...or person for that matter.
With all of the world looking at Haiti right now, my heart absolute craves going back to Haiti. I think about it night and day. I think of the faces that I've seen, the hands that I've held and the lives that have touched me far more than I'm sure I touched them. I think of every child and wonder if they're safe? I wonder if they're family is safe? or how many of them have been orphaned? or whose parents are now without children? It almost scares me when I think of how much money is being raised right now for Haiti and wonder if the government will really even know what to do with it? Will the people of Haiti yet again, rise up against the government when it doesn't know how to appropriately disperse money and help? What truly is the best way to help Haiti right now in it's hour of crisis? And how unaware are most people seeing this tragedy, that Haiti is forever in a state of crisis? A country who dedicates itself to Satan every year, will surely come up short on it's share of blessings.
Well, that's just about enough of my ranting, raving and jambalaya of thoughts. I'm starting a Beth Moore Bible study tomorrow, which is a huge step for me personally and spiritually. I'm excited to get things back on track with the Big Guy! Life is good and I'm blessed. Things don't get too much better than that!
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Update!
So, when you're sick you have time to do lots of things...such as update your blog. Besides sounding like a dog with kennel cough, life is pretty fantastic. As you can see in the above picture, that is the fancy shmancy new facility I get to work at 3 out of my 4 workdays. Apparently Sacramento County built a very expensive ($25 million)facility that they could not afford to staff. This is where the SSPCA comes in and we staff it. Now, Sac SPCA is running 2 spay/neuter clinics. whoopee! And we're officially open to the public this week. Let me tell you how much more exciting my days will be now that we are open to the public and I'm not just sitting by myself in the front office making phone calls and finding things to do with my time.
Slowly, but surely I am starting to get the hang of things at both facilities and I've been really lucky to work with such amazing people. In the past two weeks that I have been sick I have rekindled my love affair with smutty reality television. I don't care how much you want to make fun of "Jersey Shore", I dare you to start watching an episode and change the channel. You won't be able to do it. The far too tan Italians, with their fist pumping, crazy hair and beyond bad taste in members of the opposite sex, is just plain good television. Honestly, with characters named "Snookie" and "The Situation", how can you not love it?
Well I'm off to do something a little more productive with my last day off...reading. Hope all is well and I'll give a better update later!
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Holiday-tastic!
Overall, I would have to say that this holiday is going splendidly well. I just finished my first week at my new job...and it's amazing. It's so great to have a passion for animals and have a job that really plays that out in a profound way. To feel like I'm making a difference in the overpopulation of the pet community as well as helping to decrease euthanasia due to over-crowding in the shelters is the best ever! I'm a pretty lucky gal that I get to be surrounded by people that are just as passionate about animals and animal welfare as I am. I know that makes me a crazy hippie animal lover, but I don't care!!!
Also, I was able to really "stick it to the man", by winning my little battle with the corporate demon that is known as Banfield, the Pet Hospital. Due to the fact that the current office manager is a complete tool bag, him and I had some misunderstandings and ill feelings towards one another, I was able to get an extra 4 full days of pay on my last pay check. What's funny is, I didn't even go in my last 3 days of work. It's funny how one person's voice, backed up by the California Labor Commissioner can really leave some corporate idiots shaking in their boots.
Last night was my first Holiday Party of the season, and needless to say it was one that won't soon be forgotten. I'm so happy I was able to hang out with my friend Alicia before she leaves me for the East Coast. We had an eventful night that was full of laughs, confused men and lots of stories to fill up our diaries with. haha. It's interesting to me how different hoidays become as we grow into adulthood. When you're a child, holiday parties are full of cookies, presents, santa and snowmen. When you're an adult, holiday parties are full of booze, usually some kind of "ugly sweater" theme, awkward drunken dancing and more booze. But, I digress.
Today, truly reminded me of what is important about the holidays. Family and Friends. The past few years, I find myself looking forward to Christmas Day for the fact that my family can all be together in one place. We all have yummy food and I look forward to seeing people open up the presents that I gave to them. Nothing is better than getting the perfect present for someone you love. I can't wait for Christmas and closing out the end to another year. I'm counting on 2010 to be a little gentler to me. I hope everyone else is enjoying the holidays and catching the cheer of the season.
Also, I was able to really "stick it to the man", by winning my little battle with the corporate demon that is known as Banfield, the Pet Hospital. Due to the fact that the current office manager is a complete tool bag, him and I had some misunderstandings and ill feelings towards one another, I was able to get an extra 4 full days of pay on my last pay check. What's funny is, I didn't even go in my last 3 days of work. It's funny how one person's voice, backed up by the California Labor Commissioner can really leave some corporate idiots shaking in their boots.
Last night was my first Holiday Party of the season, and needless to say it was one that won't soon be forgotten. I'm so happy I was able to hang out with my friend Alicia before she leaves me for the East Coast. We had an eventful night that was full of laughs, confused men and lots of stories to fill up our diaries with. haha. It's interesting to me how different hoidays become as we grow into adulthood. When you're a child, holiday parties are full of cookies, presents, santa and snowmen. When you're an adult, holiday parties are full of booze, usually some kind of "ugly sweater" theme, awkward drunken dancing and more booze. But, I digress.
Today, truly reminded me of what is important about the holidays. Family and Friends. The past few years, I find myself looking forward to Christmas Day for the fact that my family can all be together in one place. We all have yummy food and I look forward to seeing people open up the presents that I gave to them. Nothing is better than getting the perfect present for someone you love. I can't wait for Christmas and closing out the end to another year. I'm counting on 2010 to be a little gentler to me. I hope everyone else is enjoying the holidays and catching the cheer of the season.
Tuesday, December 01, 2009
Changes
I feel like I haven't updated this blog in forever. And I also feel like the last time I blogged I talked about leaving my last job, and not I'm leaving my current job as well. Does this make me a quitter? Quitting two jobs in one year is definitely a record for me. However, I have learned more about myself and others around me from quitting these two jobs. I know what I want, and more importantly I know what I don't want.
I think that 2009 has been such a year of growth for me, more than maybe I even wanted. It's interesting to me how certain times of sadness or betrayal can bring you closer to yourself and friends than any other time. Wouldn't it be nice if everything was sunshine and rainbows and we learned the most about ourselves and learned who our true friends were by baking cookies and playing with puppies? Unfortunately, that is far from the case. I just happen to be blessed with an amazing family and friends who are there with me during the highs and are holding my hand through the lows.
Through my highs and lows of 2009, I have decided that lying is the worst thing that ANYONE can do. I believe that every form of evil stems from some sort of lie. A murder is a lie that someone has told themself that they have the right to take someone's life. A thief is someone who has lied to themself in a way which makes them believe they have the right to own anyone's property. Lying to someone is the quickest way to disrespect yourself as well as the person you are lying to. It takes the lowest of cowards to mold a lie, while the bravest of creatures uphold the truth. If you make lying your lifestyle, then you are the lowest form of life(if you can even call yourself living). You have no moral compass and no path with which to take towards success. You have no true friends and no hope of love in the future or a life of real meaning. Even if the truth hurts, it's far better than a lie. I'll take the brutal truth over a syrupy sweet lie anyday. Pardon my french, but kharma is a bitch...and she'll getcha everytime. So watch out liars-you're day will come!
I think that 2009 has been such a year of growth for me, more than maybe I even wanted. It's interesting to me how certain times of sadness or betrayal can bring you closer to yourself and friends than any other time. Wouldn't it be nice if everything was sunshine and rainbows and we learned the most about ourselves and learned who our true friends were by baking cookies and playing with puppies? Unfortunately, that is far from the case. I just happen to be blessed with an amazing family and friends who are there with me during the highs and are holding my hand through the lows.
Through my highs and lows of 2009, I have decided that lying is the worst thing that ANYONE can do. I believe that every form of evil stems from some sort of lie. A murder is a lie that someone has told themself that they have the right to take someone's life. A thief is someone who has lied to themself in a way which makes them believe they have the right to own anyone's property. Lying to someone is the quickest way to disrespect yourself as well as the person you are lying to. It takes the lowest of cowards to mold a lie, while the bravest of creatures uphold the truth. If you make lying your lifestyle, then you are the lowest form of life(if you can even call yourself living). You have no moral compass and no path with which to take towards success. You have no true friends and no hope of love in the future or a life of real meaning. Even if the truth hurts, it's far better than a lie. I'll take the brutal truth over a syrupy sweet lie anyday. Pardon my french, but kharma is a bitch...and she'll getcha everytime. So watch out liars-you're day will come!
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Goodbye Sanity...it was nice knowing you!
Well, I've about had as much as one human being can handle. I have to quit my job! There is no way that one update on my blog could sufficiently depict the plethora of reasons why I must escape, but know that they are all legit. This has honestly been the most awful work week of my life...and I still have one more day to go.
Last week, I went to the doctor's office and she told me that I probably need to be on some sort of anti-depressent after I told her my job situation(just like all the other teachers are on). I think that I am a pretty happy person and explained that I would rather try some natural approaches to relieving stress rather than drugs. Although, after this week...a big ol' bottle of zanex sounds rrreeeaaalll nice. It's almost comical the way teacher's have worked out bargaining over several different medications. Also, the new and improved diets that some must adapt to once they have begun teaching at this school(starting the morning with 3 vicodin and a cup of coffee).
Is this how all teachers feel? Or just teachers at a Christian School? The teachers that I know from public schools, just stick to being an alcoholic, while us Christian teachers seem to mix drugs and alcohol like professional streetwalkers. I actually catch myself watching the bums from my window and being insanely jealous of their carefree life of collecting bottles, pondering a place to bathe, and wondering what new disease they may have. With an economy as ludicrous as ours, I feel the need to just deal with my unhappiness and be thankful that I have a job. But, what is the price that I'm willing to pay on my sanity, just to pay the bills? Maybe I should just give up..."Into the Wild" style!
Last week, I went to the doctor's office and she told me that I probably need to be on some sort of anti-depressent after I told her my job situation(just like all the other teachers are on). I think that I am a pretty happy person and explained that I would rather try some natural approaches to relieving stress rather than drugs. Although, after this week...a big ol' bottle of zanex sounds rrreeeaaalll nice. It's almost comical the way teacher's have worked out bargaining over several different medications. Also, the new and improved diets that some must adapt to once they have begun teaching at this school(starting the morning with 3 vicodin and a cup of coffee).
Is this how all teachers feel? Or just teachers at a Christian School? The teachers that I know from public schools, just stick to being an alcoholic, while us Christian teachers seem to mix drugs and alcohol like professional streetwalkers. I actually catch myself watching the bums from my window and being insanely jealous of their carefree life of collecting bottles, pondering a place to bathe, and wondering what new disease they may have. With an economy as ludicrous as ours, I feel the need to just deal with my unhappiness and be thankful that I have a job. But, what is the price that I'm willing to pay on my sanity, just to pay the bills? Maybe I should just give up..."Into the Wild" style!
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
Thank You Power Outage..
There have been a lot of heavy rainstorms in the Sacramento area lately. For most this has meant:
-being on the road with obnoxious drivers
-dealing with grumpy, wet, annoyed people as you make your way in public
-peeling layers of leaves off your porch everyday
However, for me this has created a 5 day weekend. On Sunday night, all of us teachers received a text saying that school was cancelled on Monday due to electric problems. This was probably the most exciting news that one can receive on the eve of a workweek. Then on Monday we received the same message for today. This was a joyous occasion. I was able to enjoy a leisurely afternoon having lunch with some of my fellow teachers, bought a very precious apron on sale at anthropologie and spend the day chit chatting with friends. Couldn't get much better right? Wrong. We received another text that there is still no electricity at our school. We will not have classes until Thursday...and that's us keeping our fingers crossed.
Since I've been having my days and nights consumed with free time, it's given me time to ponder my life and what I have been doing with it. I'm at such an odd crossroad right now. I feel miserable at my job, but my friendships and the people I've been surrounding myself with lately are absolutely amazing. I've actually been going back to church and it's given me a joy that is unexplainable and a also a sadness that is almost unbearable. I'm not sure if that makes sense, but it's honest. I haven't quite figured out what it all means and I need to start doing with my life, but then again...who does?
The most important thing one can do is to just ask questions and seek change and hope in ones own life. So, I guess that's kinda where I am. I think I'll try to get back into writing tomorrow on my additional day off.
-being on the road with obnoxious drivers
-dealing with grumpy, wet, annoyed people as you make your way in public
-peeling layers of leaves off your porch everyday
However, for me this has created a 5 day weekend. On Sunday night, all of us teachers received a text saying that school was cancelled on Monday due to electric problems. This was probably the most exciting news that one can receive on the eve of a workweek. Then on Monday we received the same message for today. This was a joyous occasion. I was able to enjoy a leisurely afternoon having lunch with some of my fellow teachers, bought a very precious apron on sale at anthropologie and spend the day chit chatting with friends. Couldn't get much better right? Wrong. We received another text that there is still no electricity at our school. We will not have classes until Thursday...and that's us keeping our fingers crossed.
Since I've been having my days and nights consumed with free time, it's given me time to ponder my life and what I have been doing with it. I'm at such an odd crossroad right now. I feel miserable at my job, but my friendships and the people I've been surrounding myself with lately are absolutely amazing. I've actually been going back to church and it's given me a joy that is unexplainable and a also a sadness that is almost unbearable. I'm not sure if that makes sense, but it's honest. I haven't quite figured out what it all means and I need to start doing with my life, but then again...who does?
The most important thing one can do is to just ask questions and seek change and hope in ones own life. So, I guess that's kinda where I am. I think I'll try to get back into writing tomorrow on my additional day off.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Oscar-tastic!
So...I just got done watching The Oscars and actually thoroughly enjoyed it this year. Maybe it's my love for celebrities and my love for musicals, but this year's award ceremony was kind of amazing. I was actually quite touched by how truly humble and thankful so many of the celebrities really were. When they would cry, I really believe them to be honest tears of joy, sadness and thankfulness. Hugh Jackman was incredible as the host and I actually applauded when Kate Winslet won for best actress. I mean seriously..duh...that woman can act. Anyone who can make me shed a tear during a commercial for perfume, without even uttering a word, yeah, that's an oscar-worthy actress. I feel like I definitely need to see Slumdog Millionaire since it basically raped the competition and won pretty much every category it was nominated for. I'm not sure if any one else watched the show tonight, but it really gave me an old Hollywood kind of happiness. I would love anyone else's feedback.
p.s. halle berry's vintage dress was amazing
p.p.s the high school musical stars getting to be a part of the oscars-not amazing!
p.s. halle berry's vintage dress was amazing
p.p.s the high school musical stars getting to be a part of the oscars-not amazing!
Saturday, February 07, 2009
Lil Wayne...the sophocles of our times
"If you need an example for how to live, then you just shouldn't have been born."
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Tattle Tales 2.0
The past few weeks have utterly confused me as a human being. I've seen kids say and do things that couldn't be further from normal human behavior. I will give you an example of this so that you may ponder with me. Last week we had mid terms with all of our high school and middle school students. To prepare for this, the kids worked on study guides in all of their classes.
*Side Story: To protect the identity of my students, I shall refer to them as twin #1 and twin #2. you should be aware that twin #1 obviously stole all of twin #2's nutrients in the wound. this had rendered twin #2 to be somewhat neanderthal-like*
So, as twin #1 and twin #2 are going to my friend Kate's class, they are all informed to take out their study guides. But, alas, twin #2 did not have his study guide. well, to twin #2's horror, twin #1 shouts to his teacher "twin #2 doesn't have his study guide because he peed on it!" To this horrifying news, twin #2 shouts "mom said that you weren't allowed to tell anybody about that!" and then off course breaks into tears.
Now, I wondered and still do...how does one accidentally pee on their study guide? I can't imagine it being anywhere near the toilet. Or maybe he peed on his backpack, but how would that happen either?
Maybe I'll just never understanding the inner workings of a 6th grade boy...and that is in no way a complaint!
*Side Story: To protect the identity of my students, I shall refer to them as twin #1 and twin #2. you should be aware that twin #1 obviously stole all of twin #2's nutrients in the wound. this had rendered twin #2 to be somewhat neanderthal-like*
So, as twin #1 and twin #2 are going to my friend Kate's class, they are all informed to take out their study guides. But, alas, twin #2 did not have his study guide. well, to twin #2's horror, twin #1 shouts to his teacher "twin #2 doesn't have his study guide because he peed on it!" To this horrifying news, twin #2 shouts "mom said that you weren't allowed to tell anybody about that!" and then off course breaks into tears.
Now, I wondered and still do...how does one accidentally pee on their study guide? I can't imagine it being anywhere near the toilet. Or maybe he peed on his backpack, but how would that happen either?
Maybe I'll just never understanding the inner workings of a 6th grade boy...and that is in no way a complaint!
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Baby, It's Cold Outside....
Well, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...and it better since it's only 4 days away. For Sacramento, looking like Christmas has become:
- heavier rain than usual...giving the facade of snow while squinting at a streetlight at an angle sometime around 10:15 at night
-needing either some sort of heavy alcoholic beverage or a zanex to brave any department store
-rolling your eyes at the hoozy girls who refuse to accept the temperature and still flaunt about in clothes made for a 3 yr old child to wear in the summer time
-watching old christmas cartoons and movies(gotta love the 24 hrs of "A Christmas Story' starting Christmas Eve)
-the need to bake/cook and create holiday treats and decorations like some sort of addiction. christmas is my crack!
-an overwhelming desire to make friends with strangers. it's the oddest thing how during the holidays you can talk to a stranger and you both end up wishing each other a "merry christmas". however, do not try this in august, you may get a creeped out stranger and the finger
-karaoking at The Turtle every weekend. something about cold weather makes me want to be indoors singing to 80s soft rock or 90s hip hop
-coats/boots/scarves
-being blessed by family and friends who make my heart smile!!!!
Merry Christmas
Happy Hanukkah
Happy Kwanzaa
- heavier rain than usual...giving the facade of snow while squinting at a streetlight at an angle sometime around 10:15 at night
-needing either some sort of heavy alcoholic beverage or a zanex to brave any department store
-rolling your eyes at the hoozy girls who refuse to accept the temperature and still flaunt about in clothes made for a 3 yr old child to wear in the summer time
-watching old christmas cartoons and movies(gotta love the 24 hrs of "A Christmas Story' starting Christmas Eve)
-the need to bake/cook and create holiday treats and decorations like some sort of addiction. christmas is my crack!
-an overwhelming desire to make friends with strangers. it's the oddest thing how during the holidays you can talk to a stranger and you both end up wishing each other a "merry christmas". however, do not try this in august, you may get a creeped out stranger and the finger
-karaoking at The Turtle every weekend. something about cold weather makes me want to be indoors singing to 80s soft rock or 90s hip hop
-coats/boots/scarves
-being blessed by family and friends who make my heart smile!!!!
Merry Christmas
Happy Hanukkah
Happy Kwanzaa
Monday, December 15, 2008
An Early Christmas Present...(This is for you Lauren)
She's Back!!! And better than ever. Try as you may to hate her...you know you can't get that "Womanizer" tune out of your head. And have you heard "Circus"? I die!!! I'm so proud of Brit right now. She seems to really be picking up the pieces. Even good ol' Brit can admit that she has made some mistakes though(some? understatement!). On her documentary on MTV, she even stated "I'm a smart person, what was I thinking?!?!"
If anyone can give us a killer comeback...it's gonna be Ms. Spears! Through all of her crazy marriages, mishaps with children, head shaving, public lack of panty flashing, she still seems to be able to return with a vengeance to our radios and arenas. I will definitely admit that her live performances have been underwhelming lately, but I'm sure that she's just scared. She's faced a lot of scrutiny from critics and fans. Don't worry Brit...it's okay! I mean...how many mothers of two have you seen that look like and dance like Brit? I'm guessing, not many.
I'm sure within a few months, she'll do something shameful that will leave us all gasping. But for now, I'm gonna celebrate her in her success and support my pal Brit.
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
I am addicted to gossip...
...I've probably know this for awhile(and I'm not proud of it), but it became crystal clear when I was thinking of the website I spend the most time on. On both my computer and my phone, one can always find me on perezhilton.com. For those of you who don't know this website(shame on you!), it's a celebrity gossip blog...and I can't get enough of it. I guess I just like to be in the know of gossip.
This also takes place in my own classroom. My students are always coming into my room and telling me the latest gossip ex: who likes who, who is asking who out, who plays too much video games, who got dumped, you know all those precious little treasures. The latest of all the gossip has involved one of my 6th grade boys and an 8th grade girl who have recently been dating. (It's been talk amongst the teachers that this 8th grader must OBVIOUSLY be desperatge). After asking out this girl, which involved him being dared to do it, then severals boys dragging him at lunch and MAKING him ask this girl out. She finally said "yes" and this little 6th grade boy was in bliss. This was all until....the principal MADE them break-up. It's kind of sad, since their relationship was so blissfully innocent. Seriously, the most they did together was play foosball together before and after school(and foosball is not any sort of sexual inuendo to anything).
This heartbroken little boy comes into my class yesterday and sadly looks at me "Ms.Dolin, did you hear what happened?" Surprised that I actually hadn't heard, I said "no, sweetie are you okay." "Jessica and I broke up" he stated holding back adolescent tears. He began to walk back to his desk, but turned around and asked me with what seemed to be a fresh tear forming in his eye "Can you please not play any music today about love or kissing in the rain, I really don't think I can handle it today?"
I'm not gonna lie, I was shocked that a 6th grader could even be heartbroken, but this one was indeed. I wasn't even sure what to say to make him feel better, so I just told him how he was better off because that girl has frizzy hair. Real helpful huh? After dealing with that whole drama, I sat and reflected on how love and relationships used to be so innocent and simple. You date, you break up. No REAL emotional loss, no REAL physical connection made. When you get older and you break-up you not only lose a boyfriend, you lose a best friend, lover and sometimes a home if you were living together. When did love and life get so complicated?
I look at these kids and I'm a little envious of a breakup where the only thing you lose is a foosball partner!
p.s. Without Perez Hilton, how would anyone know about individuals off of their medicine that have been given access to a camera. example given:
This also takes place in my own classroom. My students are always coming into my room and telling me the latest gossip ex: who likes who, who is asking who out, who plays too much video games, who got dumped, you know all those precious little treasures. The latest of all the gossip has involved one of my 6th grade boys and an 8th grade girl who have recently been dating. (It's been talk amongst the teachers that this 8th grader must OBVIOUSLY be desperatge). After asking out this girl, which involved him being dared to do it, then severals boys dragging him at lunch and MAKING him ask this girl out. She finally said "yes" and this little 6th grade boy was in bliss. This was all until....the principal MADE them break-up. It's kind of sad, since their relationship was so blissfully innocent. Seriously, the most they did together was play foosball together before and after school(and foosball is not any sort of sexual inuendo to anything).
This heartbroken little boy comes into my class yesterday and sadly looks at me "Ms.Dolin, did you hear what happened?" Surprised that I actually hadn't heard, I said "no, sweetie are you okay." "Jessica and I broke up" he stated holding back adolescent tears. He began to walk back to his desk, but turned around and asked me with what seemed to be a fresh tear forming in his eye "Can you please not play any music today about love or kissing in the rain, I really don't think I can handle it today?"
I'm not gonna lie, I was shocked that a 6th grader could even be heartbroken, but this one was indeed. I wasn't even sure what to say to make him feel better, so I just told him how he was better off because that girl has frizzy hair. Real helpful huh? After dealing with that whole drama, I sat and reflected on how love and relationships used to be so innocent and simple. You date, you break up. No REAL emotional loss, no REAL physical connection made. When you get older and you break-up you not only lose a boyfriend, you lose a best friend, lover and sometimes a home if you were living together. When did love and life get so complicated?
I look at these kids and I'm a little envious of a breakup where the only thing you lose is a foosball partner!
p.s. Without Perez Hilton, how would anyone know about individuals off of their medicine that have been given access to a camera. example given:
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
10.5 school days left...
...until Christmas Break! Thank the Lord!I'm not sure if my kids are just still hyper from being gone for a week during Thanksgiving Break, but they are literally driving me crazy!!!! One of my friends who is a kindergarten teacher has a someone "special" child who cannot pay attention and is always just staring off into space and never usually makes sense in class. Well, I have one of those, but all grown up.
One of my students is always doing what he isn't supposed to be doing. If I tell them to get into groups for a project, he's standing in the corner twirling around and singing...and this kid is in HIGH SCHOOL!!!! Is it rude to suggest he be tested as a special needs child? Although sometimes I feel like he's just stoned out of his mind. Either way, it's pretty obnoxious.
On a lighter note...I encountered quite a scary experience the other day. My friend Cim and I were walking back to his house after a night of shenanigans when he happened to see a man with a cane. Cim yells at this fellow "hey bojangles, looking good." Well, needless to say this man did not appreciate my friend's sense of humor. He started running after us at a surprising speed for a man with a cane. We actually had to beging sprinting to get away from him. After flying at full speed into his house, we finally were safe. Although, I'm still a little scared that the creeper saw which house we went into. But, nothing that a "Big Love" marathon can't fix! If any of you haven't watched that show. I suggest you do. I kind of have a crush on Bill Paxton now.
One of my students is always doing what he isn't supposed to be doing. If I tell them to get into groups for a project, he's standing in the corner twirling around and singing...and this kid is in HIGH SCHOOL!!!! Is it rude to suggest he be tested as a special needs child? Although sometimes I feel like he's just stoned out of his mind. Either way, it's pretty obnoxious.
On a lighter note...I encountered quite a scary experience the other day. My friend Cim and I were walking back to his house after a night of shenanigans when he happened to see a man with a cane. Cim yells at this fellow "hey bojangles, looking good." Well, needless to say this man did not appreciate my friend's sense of humor. He started running after us at a surprising speed for a man with a cane. We actually had to beging sprinting to get away from him. After flying at full speed into his house, we finally were safe. Although, I'm still a little scared that the creeper saw which house we went into. But, nothing that a "Big Love" marathon can't fix! If any of you haven't watched that show. I suggest you do. I kind of have a crush on Bill Paxton now.
Sunday, November 09, 2008
Thank You Lenscrafters....
So, the economy sucks. Everyone knows that. What everyone doesn't know is that sometimes your old job gets sued and you get a nice settlement from that. So, thank you Lenscrafters for not giving it's employees their lunch breaks and 10 minutes breaks which are legally required, for now I was able to afford the tattoo that I have been wanting.
Monday, November 03, 2008
really? november already? hot damn....
Today during lunch, while hiding in an obscure corner so no student or parent could fine us, a fellow teacher was counting down how many days left we have of the semester. I would be lying if I didn't say I was a little panicked at how fast this year has gone by. But...I was also relived at the fact that my first semester of teaching is almost over.
I forgot that once Halloween is over...the year basically flies by in hyperspeed. Halloween was quite eventful for me. I was the only girl in a group of guys that went out...yet we were all dressed as girls. I was surrounded by a retro Bette Midler, Britney Spears(circa her vma performance of "i'm a slave for you" including large yellow fake snake)and a crazy 7 foot nurse that had eaten Amy Winehouse(words could never paint an accurate description of this). We all headed out to our favorite club to dance the night away and watch Cim enter a costume contest. The night turned out to be a gathering of drag queens of all shapes and sizes and then basically men in underwear. After a couple of Tokyo Teas Cim was completely out of commission and I had reached my max of being surrounded by men covered in glitter who had not a bit of interest in me...minus running into a guy I dated and then running away as fast as my bootsie heels could take me.
All in all, after the rush of pumpkin carving and clever costumes-it's Thanksgiving. Before you know it, the turkey and pumpkin pie is all cleaned up and the stress of Christmas shopping and baking holiday goodies has once again overtaken our lives. Is it strange that I'm already stressed out about Christmas?
Well...that was a lot of random thoughts glued together. I'll leave you with this last little nugget. I was going over with my 6th graders the importance of voting. We discussed what makes a good leader and they have to come up with a campaign of who they think should be president-not including the current candidates. It was pretty hilarious to see the hodge podge of characters these kids would want to run. These individual included:
me(kids really know how to suck up)
God(purely because the girl said people wouldn't be able to vote against him)
the Jonas Brothers(barf)
their moms' (awwwww....so cute)
and Taylor Swift(I'm not exactly sure who this is, but from what I've gathered it's another talentless blonde who has worked her way into the music industry)
I forgot that once Halloween is over...the year basically flies by in hyperspeed. Halloween was quite eventful for me. I was the only girl in a group of guys that went out...yet we were all dressed as girls. I was surrounded by a retro Bette Midler, Britney Spears(circa her vma performance of "i'm a slave for you" including large yellow fake snake)and a crazy 7 foot nurse that had eaten Amy Winehouse(words could never paint an accurate description of this). We all headed out to our favorite club to dance the night away and watch Cim enter a costume contest. The night turned out to be a gathering of drag queens of all shapes and sizes and then basically men in underwear. After a couple of Tokyo Teas Cim was completely out of commission and I had reached my max of being surrounded by men covered in glitter who had not a bit of interest in me...minus running into a guy I dated and then running away as fast as my bootsie heels could take me.
All in all, after the rush of pumpkin carving and clever costumes-it's Thanksgiving. Before you know it, the turkey and pumpkin pie is all cleaned up and the stress of Christmas shopping and baking holiday goodies has once again overtaken our lives. Is it strange that I'm already stressed out about Christmas?
Well...that was a lot of random thoughts glued together. I'll leave you with this last little nugget. I was going over with my 6th graders the importance of voting. We discussed what makes a good leader and they have to come up with a campaign of who they think should be president-not including the current candidates. It was pretty hilarious to see the hodge podge of characters these kids would want to run. These individual included:
me(kids really know how to suck up)
God(purely because the girl said people wouldn't be able to vote against him)
the Jonas Brothers(barf)
their moms' (awwwww....so cute)
and Taylor Swift(I'm not exactly sure who this is, but from what I've gathered it's another talentless blonde who has worked her way into the music industry)
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