Sunday, December 25, 2011

No like a champ!

As 2011 wraps up, I've decided I'm done...with excuses that is. Why is is that so many people are too busy giving excuses to even live their life? I can't go here because (insert excuse here). I can't do that(insert yet another excuse here). I'm just so busy with(insert another ridiculous excuse here).

If someone and something is important to you...there are no excuses. You get it done! When people are important to you, it's not difficult to carve out some time in your life to be with them. If an event is important, it's not difficult to re-arrange your schedule to do what means most to you.

Life is too short and family/friends are too important to let excuses keep me from making memories and living a life of adventure and love. 2012 is going to be a fantastical ride of a lifetime, so get on board...unless you have a good excuse that is. ;)

Thursday, August 18, 2011


Sometimes you love and care about someone so hurts not to be with them. And sometimes you love that person so much that you have to let them go. You have to let them go and hope that your love is enough to make them want to come back!

Sunday, August 07, 2011


Of all the questions in life...I feel that those which start with "how" are always the most troubling. How do I do this? How do I fix that? How do I pay my bills? And though these questions we can face on a daily basis...I've been struggling with the bigger "hows" lately. How do I be there for someone I love, whose dealing with a dying parent? How do I help a friend deal with being the sole beholder of a family secret? How can I be a good daughter to a mother dealing with more than her fair share of stress as she deals with her aging parents and my beloved grandparents?

I think the hardest fact to face in these that there is no one correct way to respond to any of these hows. Each individual deals with grief, stress and pain in their own way. So, how do we as loved ones show that we care...without being overwhelming or more of a thorn in their flesh than a rock to lean on? Do you show that you care by letting go or holding on to someone? How can you wipe away someone's tear...if you're not there to see it? How can you comfort someone with a hug...if you're not there to offer them your embrace? Oh...again with the hows!

The only solution to any of this I can even think to offer to myself(or anyone else if they're reading)is love. John Lennon was right in saying that "All you need is love". Even though...he didn't map out exactly how that plays out realistically in our daily lives. I can only hope to love others in the way that I desire to be loved. I don't think any of my aforementioned "hows" can simply be solved and answered with just the word love. But, a hopeful understanding that the people in my life know how much they mean to me...and how quickly I would be there for them in any way that I can.

I think I have recently been repeatedly reminded of how short life really is. How fast time flies. How quickly loved ones can be gone from our lives. How dangerous secrets and lies can be. Let us do our best to love with all our hearts, live a life we can be proud of and be honest with those that we hold dear.

Since this has really just been a cathartic process for me to work out some feelings...I shall leave you with something much more lighthearted.

"All the adversity I've had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles, have strengthened me... You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you." -Walt Disney

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Just a Relaxing Evening with my favorite German Theologian.

Anyone who has ever attended Simpson University holds a dear place in their heart for one particular theologian...Dietrich Bonhoeffer. This is in large part to the ever inspiring Dr.Craig Slane (author of "Bonhoeffer as Martyr:Social Responsibility and Modern Christian Commitment"). I think it's impossible to hear one of his lectures without some reference to Bonhoeffer. And who better to hear about Bonhoeffer from, then a professor who wrote a book about him and even lectures in German about this exemplary individual?

Sometimes when I'm in the mood for inspiration or simply for sharing inspiration...I look to Bonhoeffer for the cure. For those of you who do not know much about Dietrich Bonhoeffer, he was a Lutheran pastor and theologian who was involved in movements against Nazism and his participation in plans to assassinate Adolf Hitler lead to his arrest and execution by hanging in April 1945, just 23 days before the Nazis surrender.

I urge you to do some research on this particular individual. You will not be dissapointed. I leave you with some of my favorite quotes. Enjoy!

"The mark of solitude is silence, as speech is the mark of community. Silence and speech have the same inner correspondence and difference as do solitude and community. One does not exist without the other. Right speech comes out of silence, and right silence comes out of speech."

"If you do a good job for others, you heal yourself at the same time, because a dose of joy is a spiritual cure."

"First they came for the Communists, but I was not a Communist so I did not speak out. Then they came for the Socialists and the Trade Unionists, but I was neither, so I did not speak out. Then they came for the Jews, but I was not a Jew so I did not speak out. And when they came for me, there was no one left to speak out for me."

"When all is said and done, the life of faith is nothing if not an unending struggle of the spirit with every available weapon against the flesh."(The Cost of Discipleship)

"We are not to simply bandage the wounds of victims beneath the wheels of injustice, we are to drive a spoke into the wheel itself."

"If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction."

"In a word, live together in the forgiveness of your sins, for without it no human fellowship, least of all a marriage, can survive. Don’t insist on your rights, don’t blame each other, don’t judge or condemn each other, don’t find fault with each other, but accept each other as you are, and forgive each other every day from the bottom of your hearts…"

"God loves human beings. God loves the world. Not an ideal human, but human beings as they are; not an ideal world, but the real world. What we find repulsive in their opposition to God, what we shrink back from with pain and hostility, namely, real human beings, the real world, this is for God the ground of unfathomable love."

"Absolute seriousness is never without a dash of humor."

Tuesday, May 10, 2011


Want to waste your life? I have 3 words for you: Lifetime Movie Network. I blame my roommate for this, as I came home to her watching this god forsaken channel the other night. I'm not really sure what sucks me into these made for tv flicks? It's certainly not the acting. And it can't even be the writing, which is just awful. There must be some sort of force field that Lifetime creates...which sucks you in once you turn it on and you can't escape.

From watching only 3 Lifetime movies I have discovered 3 things: I wish I was Amish, I'm scared of being murdered on a river and I seriously question our judicial system. I have no clue why I allow myself to watch this filth. It's embarrassing. But, watch I must! It wouldn't be so bad if it were like the old days when Lifetime sporadically placed their movies in between talk shows and other estrogen filled programs. However, now there is a channel that is Lifetimes movies ALL day long, EVERY day!!! What is a gal to do? Wish me luck as I attempt to move past that despicable network the next time I channel surf.

Friday, May 06, 2011

The Woman Who Walked Into Doors

I recently found this poem I had written a couple of years back which was inspired by the novel of the same title written by Roddy Doyle. This is not necessarily based on anything autobiographical. Just wanted to make that point clear. The novel was truly inspiring and left me no other choice, but to translate how I felt into a poem. Enjoy.

The Woman Who Walked Into Doors

Where did you get that black eye?
I walked into a door.
How did you break your leg?
I fell down the stairs.
How did you break two ribs?
Wouldn't you know...I slipped and fell in the kitchen.
And the cigarette burns on your arm?
You know me...just being careless.

How did you REALLY get the black eye?
I wouldn't make his coffee.
And your leg?
I didn't love him enough.
Your broken ribs?
I loved him too much.
The cigarette burns?
Just to put me in my place.

If I only could keep my mouth shut
If I could only be more of what he wanted
...if I could only escape.
Maybe when the blood dries, I can sink below the pain.
I don't even know who I am anymore.
Days and weeks blur together until they become months and years.
I am nothing without him, he reminds me of this as he picks me up off the floor.
And he is nothing without me...he does this because he loves me.
I avoid mirrors in the hallway...the blistered and bruised face reminds me...
I am the woman who walks into doors...nothing else.

Monday, May 02, 2011

Nerd Alert!

There are few authors that can pen words so overwhelming that you have to digest their true meaning, as one might digest an elaborate Thanksgiving dinner. Breaking down each sentence and each thought, until they become your own contemplations. Breaking down each phrase into words that hold meaning. Words that tease. Words that please. Words that cause introspection. Words that make you nervous to even continue on.

There are only two authors which hold this status for me: Chuck Palahniuk and Roald Dahl. If anyone has read either of these authors, you will come to find that they are quite similar in nature. Although Dahl was a Brittish children's author best known for books such as "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" and "Matilda", while Palahniuk is known for dark, shameful humor such as "Fight Club" and "Haunted", both have a keen sense of making one question their own thoughts.

I've been reading both author's short stories collections, "The Roald Dahl Omnibus" and "Stranger than Fiction." In the very first short story written by Dahl, I had to check the front cover because it was so similar to the style and humor of so many Palhniuk's novels I have read in the past. I urge anyone who's interested in reading something with real depth to check out either novel. In fact, just read anything by either will not be dissapointed. Although, do not read if you are faint of heart. I mean...Dahl starts his work with a gambler who convinces people to let him chop off their fingers if they lose a bet with him. And as for Pahlaniuk....I can't even mention his storylines without feeling the need to censor. Well, it's late and this has become rambling. Happy reading all!

Sunday, April 24, 2011

The Lost Art of Reading a Book.

Kindle. Nook. iPad. When did we become so lazy that it became too daunting of a task to even turn the page of a book? I can understand the convenience of having your whole library in the palm of your hands, but what's the fun in that? Nothing is quite as exciting as buying that book that you've been waiting with baited breath to finally be released, turning each crisp page and smelling that oh so heavenly new book aroma. As you get closer to the end of your novel, you must continuously talk yourself out of flipping to the final pages in order to discover the fate of the characters within your gripping tale. And finally...when all is said and done, placing your ear-marked, tear-stained and battered book on the shelf with all of your other literary conquests.

The thought of seeing the words of Shakespeare, Roald Dahl, William Blake or Mary Shelley digitally transferred to a screen feels almost offensive. It's possible that because I was an English major, I hold the utmost respect for the written word, but I also wince at the thought of having to turn on a screen in order to catch up on my current novel. And what if this new fangled machine happens to break, run out of batteries or lose your place while you're reading? Should your device go kaput while reading C.S. Lewis' "Perelandra", would one never know if Ransom accomplished his mission or even returned to Earth? How devastating for one to have to live in pure anticipation and panic, not knowing which way their novel would commence.

Needless to say, I'm more than happy to have heavy, numerous boxes filled to the brim with all of the books of my literary past, present and future. It may be a pain to lug around with every move I make, but I will forever choose to stand my ground in offense to the electronic book. I'll leave you with this quote from the great John Milton's "Areopagitica", he was blind so the electric book would hold no impression for him:

"For books are not absolutely dead things, but do contain a potency of life in them to be as active as that soul whose progeny they are; nay, they do preserve as in a vial the purest efficacy and extraction of that living intellect that bred them."

Happy reading fact I think I'll go do some reading right now.