Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Praise the Lord-Hallelujah!(a light shine downs from heaven)

MY FALL SEMESTER IS DONE!!!! This definitely was my day from hell...well the beginning. My day started out at 8am with a 12 page Grammar final. If that doesn't sound fun...well it wasn't so that's why. But my Grammar prof gave us candy canes before our test, so that half way through that hell we could poke our eyeballs out with them. After that, I had to attend about an hour in my drama class-cause the final was cancelled thanks to the power of a student's voice-and I was instantly made aware of how socially handicap Simpson kids are. When asked what fun thing we would be doing this one particular girl who should have kept this embaressing moment to herself said"I'll probably be finishing my Civil War Ball Gown." Now you might be asking yourself why in the world would someone do this-because that is what I thought. She explained that she wanted to be prepared in case she one day was in a re-enactment or maybe one day if they make a time machine and by chance she is invited to a ball-she will be prepared. She didn't say the last part, I made that up. After that I had a 4 page front and back Shakespeare final, and after that an 8 page front and back C.S. Lewis final. So needless to hands hurt real bad after all this. But to bring joy back to my day, we had our annual Refuge leader appreciation dinner tonight at Yuet(?)Bistro. So yummy. After me and Ericka went shopping and then watched some Elf cause everyone else went to see Narnia. Well, I better get to bed I'm exercising with Ericka in the a.m and then I have a meeting at the church! Have a beautiful day you beautiful people! Oh you should all check out this awesome website that my Russian students makes me smile---

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

So much to little time!

I thought I had to work at 3 today, and just realized I'm not working til I thought I would pass the time on this. Theatre professor promised us at the beginning of the year that if we spend a whole day in Ashland(listening to panels, lectures, seeing plays) then we wouldn't have to take the final. We all made sure that she was positive about this, so I and numerous other students believed this promise and spent money we didn't have to miss a whole day of classes. Well last week she tells us that she changed her mind and we really do have to do this final assignment which is a GANGLOAD of work. I have to memorize all these lines and other lame stuff. My favorite professor/advisor Philippian told me that I need to go talk to the chair of the English department because students have sued and won in cases just like mine. I'm kind of nervous, but I'm so angry too--I want her to keep her promise. Beyond learning lines for that class where I play a wife who comes back to find her best friend(played by Karley) instantly moved in as soon as she left. It's a really emotional play-and I'm not good at acting. Plus I'm supposed to have this like intimate embrace with this guy in my class who was WAY too okay with this scene when we talked about it. The prof said we should give each other backrubs to prepare for our roles...okay hell no! On top of that I'm making a Shakespeare video this weekend and play the King of the Fairies in A Midsummer Night's Dream. It's a whole lot of acting-not looking forward to that. Beyond all the work though-life is pretty great. My parents are being fabulous. It's like ever since they're going to buy me all this stuff for Christmas they're my best friends. I'm not sure why...but I'm enjoying it. It's so funny cause I never even asked for anything for Christmas, I never usually ask for anything in particular-cause I never know what I want. And I absolutely LOVE surprises!!! I'm just happy for the Season and remembering what an amazing gift of love and sacrifice God gave me through Jesus!

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

So many changes---Praise the Lord!

Sometimes change makes me crazy and sometimes I love it. Right now the change in my life is amazing. Ericka is back and I am so freakin' excited. She is such an amazing person and a breath of fresh air in my life. I just love her to death and love the fact that I can see the Lord in like everything that she does. She is like the family that I always wanted-a sister that comes with an amazing mom who is my mentor too. And Lauren is moving in-how freakin' excited am I about that. Also an amazing woman. I am so blessed with the friendships that the Lord has blessed me with. I have a ginormous C.S. Lewis test tomorrow that I'm kind of scared of, but I'm sure it will be okay. After tomorrow, I don't have school again until next Wednesday. So yet another blessing of time that I can spend relaxing, hanging out with friends and loving the Lord. Have a beautiful day! And I read this quote the other day by Kathy Troccoli that I wrote on my white board because I like it soooo much-enjoy!
"All I wish for, all I long for is to be a holy woman. Thank you Father, that you have released the power for me to do so, and that everything in this life that comes my way-the instruments that bring joy or sorrow-is held by your divine hands, carving the very nature, the very heart of Jesus in me!"

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Oh the change that school brings(by change I mean stress!)

So...don't get me wrong, I adore school, but I'm a little stressed out. I read for hours at night either Shakespeare or C.S. Lewis and my brain wants to explode afterwards! I'm reading some Oscar Wilde on the side so I can actually have a break in reading something I don't have to overanalyze every second. This shows how much of an English Major I am, that on the side as a "break" I'm reading a Brittish playwright/critic. My Grammer teacher is absolutely ridiculous and he told me today that he was thinking of not allowing me to come into class today-yikes! When I'm not stressed out at school-I've been super stressed out at work! Just as I have been thinking of quitting the Dr., just about every patient has told me how much they like and appreciate me. I almost cried with what one of the patients said. Yesterday a man came in because the catholic church makes a person have a psychological exam before they will perform an excorcism-creepy huh? When he went in the office I just stood right outside, laying hands on the door and praying. It helped get rid of any fear I had-cause hello-God is sooo much more powerful. And on top of all of this I have been getting tons of pressure from my dad to move back home after this semester! aaaggghhhh!!!!! What's scary is I actually thought about it for a day-then I had to do a genogram for my marriage & family class which just plots out all of my family and things like: death, marriage, divorce, alcohol/drug abuse, sexual and physical abuse and all that fun stuff. Everyone had crazy stuff attached to them and then there was my little circle. There should have been a symbol for having Christ in my life because that is the only reason I'm a sane person without crazy problems in my family. I'm so blessed to be where I am. I'm listening to this song right now by Nichole Nordeman called "Why?"(please listen to it if you have a chance)and it's a song from the point of view of both a little girl and God during the crucifixion-it's amazing. Just a great reminder of God love for us and willingness to sacrifice for us-shouldn't I also be so willing to sacrifice all my insecurities, shortcomings and worries to him?

Saturday, September 10, 2005

I miss my nephew!

I know this is an awful picture(so blurry), but it's so cute to me because I took this picture when I was about to leave and he was so sad that I was leaving he wouldn't smile and he wouldn't even look at the camera! So...when I'm sad and missing someone or anything I write-that's what you do when you're an English Major! So-here it goes:

How much do I love you?
How much would you say?
"More than the night?" he asked
"More than the day?"
Oh, much more than that
And let me tell you why-
You made me an aunt
You're the apple of my eye
You're growing so fast now
Into such a handsome boy
Each time I come see you
You bring my heart such joy
I love you like no one
I've ever loved before
An instant connection
From the moment you were born
What would I do for you?
How far would you say?
"Would you do anything?" he asked
"Walk as far as the earth lay?"
Oh much more than that
Let me tell you how far-
I'd walk right up to the sky
And grab you the shiniest star
I love you so much
And you'll never quite know
The battles I'll fight for you
And depths to which I'll go
So, if you ever feel alone
Or just under the weather
Know that I'm here for you
Always and forever!!!!

Monday, July 18, 2005

I heart Russia!

So...I haven't even been back from Russia for a whole week and I so desperately miss it. It was by far the most incredible experience of my life. It gave me a heart for missions that I never truly had before. My idea of God just exploded and my relationship with Him is closer than ever. God has seriously done some awesome things in my life and I feel truly blessed that I was given the opportunity to share His light and love with those in Russia. I want to go back so badly next year and I won't let myself make any excuses to not go. I want you all to go to Russia too-then we can share the awesome experience. Some awesome things about Russia:
1-the metro rocks my face off(a drunk guy fell on me at 9 am-can i say delight?)
2-pirates are everywhere
3-jean on jean is a disease in Russia-pray for them!
4-so much history in every place you go-it make me sad that America is such a baby country
5-their cell phones are ridiculous-cooler then anything we'll probably have for 10 years
Oh I could go on forever! Right now I'm housesitting/babysitting for the hell beasts. Praise the Lord though I have gotten some sweet relief by swimming with such delightful companions as the Tyler's and soon to be Black's. I am so thankful for my amazing friends here in Redding! I hope you are all having an amazing Summer!

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Wow--even more poetry!!!

I don't mean to have all these poems that talk about crying-it's just coincidence!!! I swear!!
The death of a loved one
The absence of a friend
Your heart being broken
The beginning of an end
The birth of your child
The hurt of alone
Your fondest childhood memory
The first time you leave home
Someone you love has just let you down
Your flooded with joy when your lost child's found
It's been 50 years since you both said 'I do'
Your father lays still as you watch from a pew
Your very first love
Your last funeral mourned
You look back at these things
And a teardrop is formed

Sunday, January 09, 2005

Ahhh....the release that poetry brings!!!

He chose to hurt, he chose to lie
He chose to make his daughter cry
Years of trust went down the drain
A broken girl is what remains
A pain so harsh it can't be real
A shattered heart no one can heal
How could this man she loved so much
make her cringe with just one touch?
Her heart grows cold with each icy glance
He doesn't deserve another chance
"He hurt us God," she yelled at night
"now mom and him can only fight"
"Is this your plan? Is this from you?"
"I won't believe that that is true"
Her heart so cold no one could melt
Until the love of God was felt
Slowly, slowly her eyes turned up
Looking to Him to fill her cup
God changed her father's heart and mind
until his words were only kind
She saw in him a man of love
Whose strength and hope came from above
Years have passed and trust was gained
A loving bond is what remains
What God has done to change these lives
Has healed the scars and killed the lies
She stands by his side and hears him sigh
This time it's her whose made him cry
He holds her hand tight with no words to say
The love that he feels as he gives her away
He looks at this man and with tears in his eye
Prays to the Lord that he won't make her cry