Of all the questions in life...I feel that those which start with "how" are always the most troubling. How do I do this? How do I fix that? How do I pay my bills? And though these questions we can face on a daily basis...I've been struggling with the bigger "hows" lately. How do I be there for someone I love, whose dealing with a dying parent? How do I help a friend deal with being the sole beholder of a family secret? How can I be a good daughter to a mother dealing with more than her fair share of stress as she deals with her aging parents and my beloved grandparents?
I think the hardest fact to face in these situations...is that there is no one correct way to respond to any of these hows. Each individual deals with grief, stress and pain in their own way. So, how do we as loved ones show that we care...without being overwhelming or more of a thorn in their flesh than a rock to lean on? Do you show that you care by letting go or holding on to someone? How can you wipe away someone's tear...if you're not there to see it? How can you comfort someone with a hug...if you're not there to offer them your embrace? Oh...again with the hows!
The only solution to any of this I can even think to offer to myself(or anyone else if they're reading)is love. John Lennon was right in saying that "All you need is love". Even though...he didn't map out exactly how that plays out realistically in our daily lives. I can only hope to love others in the way that I desire to be loved. I don't think any of my aforementioned "hows" can simply be solved and answered with just the word love. But, a hopeful understanding that the people in my life know how much they mean to me...and how quickly I would be there for them in any way that I can.
I think I have recently been repeatedly reminded of how short life really is. How fast time flies. How quickly loved ones can be gone from our lives. How dangerous secrets and lies can be. Let us do our best to love with all our hearts, live a life we can be proud of and be honest with those that we hold dear.
Since this has really just been a cathartic process for me to work out some feelings...I shall leave you with something much more lighthearted.
"All the adversity I've had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles, have strengthened me... You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you." -Walt Disney